I didn't build it because it was necessary for me to float in a pool and have my boat in the backyard.
I didn't build the monstrosity with the wish of filling the extra bedrooms with rug rats of my own.
I simply built it for 2 reasons. 1- I wanted the man in my life to be happy and this is what he wanted to do and 2- There was plenty of equity in building it ourselves and it seemed like a wise investment.
Why did we think it was wise?
1- It appraised for $1.425 million and we had $1 million into it
2- We built it with the wealthy retiree in mind (never ourselves)
I had a very clear and concise plan. I would sell my house and use the proceeds to pay for my half of the mortgage payments. I had plenty of savings in case of a shortfall. After two years, we would sell the house and the gain would be tax free. It was safe and it was smart.
After the point of no return, the world changed. Significantly.
Here on the Outer Banks, you could feel the change - you could almost smell and touch it, it was so immediate. Because the change was so dramatic, we felt that it would change back just as quickly. That was the fall of 2005.
I have examined myself inside and out looking for what led me in the total opposite direction of my intended goal.
I have come to the conclusion that I did not listen to my gut. If I had stayed true to myself and my values, I would never have gotten myself into this position.
Core values: 1- I don't believe in development, I believe in rehabilitation and working with what already exists. 2- I believe in simplicity. 3- I believe in helping others and doing good in all aspects.
I can't say that I got greedy because that doesn't feel accurate. I think I just got caught up in someone else's dream, someone else's goals, someone else's values and pushed aside my own.
This experience has affected me profoundly. Due to the contrast in what I consider to be me, it's made me realize that all humans have this within them. I've never understood evil or to a lesser degree, wrong doings - screw ups, failures, bad decisions - in other people. I've have walked along a path of achieving success after success - if I messed up, I corrected it. Fairly simple.
This has made me change my mind. Perhaps the biggest lesson I may take away from this is that of compassion.
Rather than feeling like a total loser, I want to embrace the following: 1- we built a hell of a house 2- I was able to carry it for two years, mostly on my own (I consider myself a financial genious in this regard - never to be repeated, however) 3- we made the right decision of letting it go, although should have done so sooner (But a year ago, we had a buyer lined up).
The lot over on Duck Woods Drive? Now, that was completely ridiculous. All I can say is that you had to be there at the time to understand.
I will recover from this and will be smarter from it.
No comments:
Post a Comment